cj Sez: Time for
a couple of show-don’t-tell examples, and these are wonderfully wrought by a
master. Take note of the beautiful switch from passive voice to action that
carries the reader along with the story.
Tell: The house had a huge and beautiful front yard.
Show: “The
lawn started at the beach and ran toward the front door for a quarter of a
mile, jumping over sun-dials and brick walks and burning gardens—finally when
it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as through from the
momentum of its run.”
(Can’t you just see that yard?)
Tell: The windows were open when I entered the room, the
curtains flapping in a strong breeze that rattled the ornate picture frame on
the wall.
Show: “I must
have stood for a few moments listening to the whip and snap of the curtains and
the groan of a picture on the wall.”
(You know from the whip and snap of the curtains that there is a sharp breeze coming
through open windows.)
(Quotations from THE GREAT
GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald.)
Do these two simple examples give you any ideas for your
story? If you changed something, let me know how you did it, won’t you?
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Stop back by Wednesday when Lyrical Pens hosts author Kristina
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Okay, you-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do
the same. And if you’re closing in on the end of NaNoWriMo, KEEP UP THE GOOD
WORK.
cj
cjpetterson@gmail.com
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