Sometimes I need an interpreter

 cj Sez:  A public service announcement: Beware the stingy things of summer

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From the Lyrical Pens archives:

  Some years ago, a friend sent me the following quote from a fellow blogger, Sol Sanders:  “Perhaps the glory of the English language is that it so expressive. Its remarkable heterogeneous origins have given it an almost limitless vocabulary. And American English, particularly, has used that tool with an enormous flexibility to make it the international means of communication. One is able with a minimum of linguistic dexterity to capture every meaning, or almost every nuance.”

  Mr. Sanders’s comments were part of an introduction to his 2014 essay on “The Language of Deception,” i.e., what today’s journalism and media do with the English language.**

  The gist of his post is even more evident today as journalists and media people sometimes overcomplicate their sentences with words that muddy their meanings rather than clarifying them—changing nouns into verbs and, perhaps, calling a shovel a “hand-held, earth-moving tool” or a mother “a birthing person.” That certainly isn’t “a minimum of linguistic dexterity.” My take on this is that media and journalists are employing an old trick of confusing the issue to persuade readers to their (the writer/editor) points of view

  Turning nouns into verbs can seem a clever way to create uncomplicated sentences, but those words can also confuse the issue. One such usage I particularly dislike is “impactful;” a noun turned into a verb turned into an adjective by attaching “ful” on the end. What the Sam Hill does that mean?

  The truth is the English is a living language. It’s constantly evolving as we create new words and new definitions to compliment and interpret new technology. The caveat is that the generations cease to understand each other at an almost exponential pace. Many times I seriously need an interpreter to understand teen-talk, and I think if I often texted (a noun turned into a verb because of technology), I’d forget how to spell. I sympathize with teachers who deal with this on a daily basis.

  For me as a genre writer, the gloriously expressive English language is what makes my craft so fascinating.

  Yes, I do use nouns as verbs. Yes, I deliberately obfuscate, and here I add the disclaimer that it’s for the sake of mystery. As I've said many times, I am drawn to the syntax, symbolism, and syncopation of a well-drafted sentence that is the hallmark of successful mystery/thriller/suspense novelists and short story writers. It’s using that “minimum of linguistic dexterity to capture every meaning, or almost every nuance” that appeals to me, and, I think, to readers of those genres. Readers want to try to decipher the code, find the clues, and solve the crime. I like trying to confuse the issue.

  I’m still working on my craft, and every day I learn a new bit of English language. And that’s okay with me, because my personal motto is to learn something new every day.

 (** https://acdemocracy.org/the-language-of-deception )

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cj Sez: Here's proof that I do things besides write and blog. I was very happy with the way this quiche looked…and it tasted good, too. Send me an email if you'd like the recipe. 

  That’s it for today’s post. You-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same. Lifting prayers for your health and safety.

cj

  Young'uns are getting ready to return to school…a sure sign the summer is waning. Whether enjoying a stay-cation or vacation, the lowered prices on my fast-paced, exciting thrillers with a smidgen of romance (ala Jane Bond) ebooks will give you a few more hours of leisure reading. 

  The ebooks of DEATH ON THE YAMPA and THE DAWGSTAR are now $2.99.

P.S.  The Haunted Bookshop has signed paperback copies of my books in stock. TO ORDER my author-graphed books or any book of your choice on-line, contact The Haunted Bookshop here: https://www.thehauntedbookshopmobile.com/contact-us 

P.P.S.  Sorry, pre-signed copies of THE BIG FANG are not yet available at The Haunted Bookshop

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Muggle words don't have any magic

 cj Sez:  Something to consider for readers and writers . . .

A confiscated Facebook post

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  I’ve touched on repeated words in manuscripts in earlier posts, but I still find them in my WiP. Not as many, but they’re there (alongside those typo gremlins), so I’ll have another go at this.

  First drafts are usually full of the words that are top-of-mind, the ones with which we are most familiar. The words we use every day. These familiar words allow us writers to push through the draft rather than take time to search our minds or a thesaurus for better ones.

  It’s when writers get into the rewrite, rewrite, and rewrite editing that we see how our familiar words/phrases simply can’t live up to the task of enriching our manuscripts. They rise to the surface as trite or overused. 

  One solution is to use a writing software program to “Find” how many times a word is repeated. I search my entire manuscript for some word I find too often during a quick review, and then replace or delete (most often delete) the offending repetitions. This software feature often leads to word choice or phrasing improvements that I didn’t see before.

  I usually start my search with the words I know I use too often, but one creative writing instructor I know suggests starting with the verbs . . . the “to be” verbs (is, were), but also says don’t worry about occasional usage. Next go to active verbs. I find a lot of look, smile, walk, glance, shrug, frown, et al.  How many are too many? If they begin to annoy me when I see them in the text, there are too many.

  I can’t forget to check for nouns. I find dozens of coffee, latte, mouth, eyes, eyebrows, hand. I also check for “then” and “while.” Too many of these can mean poor transitions and a lot of complex sentences, which tend to slow down the reader.

  Elmore Leonard’s ten rules* for writers have been published many times. Number 4 of his list is about adverbs: “Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said" . . . he admonished gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange. I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances "full of rape and adverbs".  (* https://bit.ly/3OK6UGd  )   

  Mr. Leonard is not alone in offering this advice. That bit about the writer “exposing himself” is the taboo…the writer is telling the readers what s/he wants them to think or sense about the character. Some adverbs are necessary, of course, but writers should be mindful about intruding into the reader’s version of the story. Instead of a bunch of adverbs, find strong verbs that don’t need an “ly” helper. 

  Adjectives can be major snags also. Characters are often gorgeous, handsome, tall, sexy, ripped; and rooms are large, tiny, or trashed. Not a lot of magic there. Instead of those muggle words, try to describe something/someone in a way that invites readers into the story, respects their intelligence, and lets them use their imagination. (That’s called deep point of view.)

  Here are two of my favorite examples:

… The opening line of BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley. “A squat, gray building of only thirty-four stories.”  By comparison, the reader is able to visualize that all the buildings in Huxley’s new world are skyscraper tall except that particular one. The building is shorter and uglier than all the others in this new world. The line is almost a threat, if not a promise of strange things that will happen in that building.

… “The evening sky was streaked with purple, the color of torn plums, and a light rain had started to fall when I came to the end of the blacktop road that cut through twenty miles of thick, almost impenetrable scrub oak and pine and stopped at the front gate of Angola penitentiary.”  

—James Lee Burke, THE NEON RAIN

  The more often I search for/replace overused words, the fewer I find because I’ve learned to recognize my tendency for repetition. Perhaps you will have the same result.  What are your favorite overused words?   

  By the by, as I mentioned earlier, a computer software search is one way to clean up repetitious words, but after that’s done, I also like to read the pages out loud. Try a few pages. See if plot holes, rough spots, stilted dialogue, and repeated phrases don’t just jump off the page at you. 

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  I hope you enjoyed Kaye George’s “Smashing Stereotypes” post last Wednesday as much as I did. Definitely a learning moment for me.

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   That’s it for today’s post. You-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same. Because I still have a bit of bronchial cough residual from last December, I’ve started wearing a mask again when out in crowded spaces. Lifting prayers for your health and safety.

 cj

I found the meme about $2.99 on Facebook and couldn't resist using it . . . 

  Whether stay-cation or vacation, the lowered prices on my ebooks are just in time for your summer reading pleasure—fast-paced, exciting thrillers with a smidgen of romance (ala Jane Bond). 

The ebooks of DEATH ON THE YAMPA and THE DAWGSTAR are now $2.99. 

P.S.  The Haunted Bookshop has signed paperback copies of my books in stock. TO ORDER my author-graphed books or any book of your choice on-line, contact The Haunted Bookshop here: https://www.thehauntedbookshopmobile.com/contact-us   P.P.S. Pre-signed copies of THE BIG FANG are not available at The Haunted Bookshop

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A guest post by Author Kaye George, smashing some stereotypes

cj Sez:  I am truly thrilled to welcome the awesome Author Kaye George to Lyrical Pens today. She’s going to introduce the intriguing latest novel in her People of the Wind series and smash some stereotypes. Take it away, Kaye!

SMASHING STEREOTYPES

  When people ask me why I write this series, smashing stereotypes is the reason. My goal is to overturn the outdated, demeaning, and ridiculous image of Neanderthals.

  They were different from us, but not inferior in any way. It was once thought that they were hunched, stupid, brutish, grunting, club wielding sorts, but that was due to a visual interpretation of a particular individual who had a bad case of arthritis. No, they didn’t all hunch over or shuffle. They stood and walked and hunted mammoths. 

  Their bodies were built for the strength they needed and to survive the cold places where they lived. Shorter, with wider hips and torsos, they might not even be all that noticeable today if we saw them in the store.

  Stupid? They had to be pretty darn smart to make a living hunting huge mammoth for food and clothing. They also survived on this planet for hundreds of thousands of years. They disappeared as a distinct species around 35-40,000 years ago, depending on which source you want to use. An accepted date is 430,000 years ago for the first fossils, which means they were around for close to 400,000 years. You and me? Our species has been on the planet for about 100,000 years. It remains to be seen if we’ll be here as long as they were.

   As for being brutish, we now know they lived in small societies of 20-30 individuals and, from finding fossils of bones that had been broken then healed, they took good care of each other. They also created art on the cave walls where some of them lived. Others lived in villages and built homes of skin and mammoth tusks. I had my tribe split the difference—living in a village but with a cave nearby for ritual use.

   Grunting? Voice boxes don’t survive 40,000 years, so it was once thought that they didn’t have them and couldn’t speak. However, they had all the structure they needed, so it’s likely they did speak. They may even have had a bit of symbolic writing, since some of their art consists of symbols, in addition to the pictures and handprints. Did those symbols have meaning? If so, they have been lost, but many identical symbols have been repeated in far-flung places.

   Okay, here’s a couple more stereotypes: dragging the women home by the hair, and dividing their lives into male and female roles. That division was very unlikely. I countered this by having my Hamapa tribe be led by an elder woman who leads them wisely, a matriarch, elected by members of the tribe. That’s reasonable, because some older societies here are matriarchal. And some Homo sapiens societies used to be a lot more so. It makes sense to trace your lineage through your mothers and grandmothers. Before monogamy was standard, a person would always know who their mother was. It’s possible they would have no idea who had fathered them. That even happens today.

   I would love for you to join the Hamapa tribe in their adventures over the three People of the Wind books!

  In the first book of the series, DEATH IN THE TIME OF ICE, the Hamapa tribe must flee the approaching glacier at the beginning of the last Ice Age. This is what happened to Neanderthal tribes in real life. The animals that they depended on fled, so they had to follow, 

  In DEATH ON THE TREK, all kinds of disasters befall them as they encounter new lands, new people, new animals, and, of course, a murder.

 

 Which brings us to DEATH IN THE NEW LAND, when they reach a place with a bounty of animals and, they think, safety. Of course, you, the reader, know better than that!

  In DEATH IN THE NEW LAND, my intrepid sleuth, Enga Dancing Flower, is thrust into the role of detective when the beloved leader is murdered. Murder, in the society I created for the Hamapa, was so rare, they didn’t know how to react. Since Enga is clever, she steps up, knowing they can’t let a killer live with them.

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  Kaye George, award-winning novelist and short-story writer, writes cozy and traditional mysteries and a prehistory series, which are both traditionally and self-published: two cozy series, Fat Cat and Vintage Sweets; two traditionals featuring Cressa Carraway and Imogene Duckworthy; and the People of the Wind prehistory Neanderthal mysteries,  Over 50 short stories have also appeared, mostly in anthologies and magazines. She reviews for Suspense Magazine and writes a column for Mysterical-E. She lives in Knoxville TN.

  Keep in touch with Kaye at http://kayegeorge.com/~~  (Sign up for her newsletter here, also.)

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  cj Sez: Thank you so much, Kaye, for sharing the real history and stories behind your People of the Wind series. My personal goal is to learn something new every day, and your post helped me do that today. Sending you my best wishes for great sales and wonderful reviews for DEATH IN THE NEW LAND. 

  That’s it for today’s post, folks. You-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same. Prayers going up for your health and safety this year.

 cj

 P.S.  The Haunted Bookshop has signed paperback copies of my books in stock. TO ORDER my author-graphed books or any book of your choice on-line from an indie bookstore, contact The Haunted Bookshop here: https://www.thehauntedbookshopmobile.com/contact-us  

P.P.S. Sorry … signed copies of THE BIG FANG paperbacks are not available at this time.

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An excerpt to critique

 cj Sez:  Because it’s rare, pretty, and son Jeff took the picture:

Painted Bunting

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A Tidbit for Readers and Writers

  In my untitled work-in-progress, Janneka (Jake) Konnor is a Yankee-bred woman struggling to make a living as a private investigator in a small town somewhere in the Deep South. When an innocuous and boring case spirals into a murder investigation, she also becomes a target of the unknown killer. 

  The following excerpt is from the beginning of Chapter Three.  

    Heart racing and with no expectation that he’d answer, Jake grabbed her cellphone and called Etienne Beaudette. She didn’t leave a message when she reached his voice mail. The Beaudette house was sure to be an off-limits crime scene, but on the odd chance that one of the officers at the scene might be chatty, she was out of the house in the time it took to grab her purse and keys.

   Bathed in the blue and red strobe lights of the city’s emergency responders, the Beaudette’s columned, French colonial home was cordoned off by yellow crime-scene tape pulled taut, from the one of the columns to the mailbox where the gray brick circular drive met the tar-black asphalt of the street. It looked like every light in the house was on. Strobing light bars atop police cars and the ambulance, blinking red taillights, flashing headlights, and the sparkling of the crystal chandelier on the wide veranda gave the otherwise miserable scene a festive appearance. The number of police cars and officers milling about made her wonder if there was anyone left at the cop shop to answer the phone. Neighbors clotted in intimate groups. Curiosity seekers from around town swelled the numbers.

   Jake shouldered her way through a cluster of onlookers conjecturing about the possible whys, hows, and who. She overheard someone say they’d heard a shot. She moved close to the shoulder of a young patrolman intent on watching the activity around the house while he kept gawkers at bay behind the tape.

“Evening, officer. That was a terrible thing that happened.”

** **

  Okay, readers and writers, what do you think? 

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Coming Attractions

  Be sure to stop back by on Wednesday, July 20, as we welcome ​National best-selling and Agatha-nominated mystery author Kaye George as our guest.  

  

Her latest book, DEATH IN THE NEW LAND (A People of the Wind Mystery Book 3), releases July 19 and is available for pre-order.

 

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  That’s it for today’s post. You-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same. Sending up prayers for your health and safety.

cj

  Just in time for your vacation/staycation reading pleasure . . . fast-paced, exciting thrillers with a smidgen of romance (ala Jane Bond). The ebooks of DEATH ON THE YAMPA and THE DAWGSTAR are now $2.99. 

P.S.  The Haunted Bookshop has signed paperback copies of my books in stock. TO ORDER my author-graphed books or any book of your choice on-line, contact The Haunted Bookshop here: https://www.thehauntedbookshopmobile.com/contact-us  

P.P.S. Pre-signed copies of THE BIG FANG are not available at The Haunted Bookshop

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Dog Days are upon us

 cj Sez:  Exciting nearly local news: The Blue Angels, the U.S. Navy Flight Demonstration Squadron, were flying in Pensacola this weekend. This is son Jeff’s photo of one of their close-formation maneuvers in 2019:

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  The Dog Days of Summer were historically the period following the heliacal (sunrise) of the star Dog Star, Sirius. Greek and Roman astrology connected Sirius to heat, drought, sudden thunderstorms, lethargy, fever, mad dogs, and bad luck. Seems I recognize some of those.

  According to the Farmer’s Almanac, the Dog Days of Summer are 40 days long:  “the 20 days before and 20 days after the alignment of Sirius with the sun--July 3 and ending August 11 each year.” Ha! It also says that “some of our hottest and most humid days happen after August 11.” 

  So, suck it up, Buttercups. There’s more hellacious heat and humidity to come.

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  In the more important news: Congratulations to all the finalists . . . Killer Nashville ( www.KillerNashville.com ) announced the finalists for its 2022 Silver Falchion contest. The winners will be announced during the Killer Nashville Awards Dinner at its International Writers’ Conference in August. 

  Do you recognize anyone you know in this announcement?  https://killernashville.com/2022-killer-nashville-silver-falchion-award-finalists/

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Tidbits for Readers and Writers

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Coming Attractions

  

  Mark your calendars.  ​National best-selling and Agatha-nominated mystery author Kaye George is scheduled to be Lyrical Pens’ guest on July 20.  

  Her latest book, DEATH IN THE NEW LAND (A People of the Wind Mystery Book 3), releases July 19 and is available for pre-order.

 

§§

  That’s it for today’s post. You-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same. Sending up prayers for your health and safety.

cj

  Just in time for your summer reading pleasure . . . fast-paced, exciting thrillers with a smidgen of romance (ala Jane Bond). The ebooks of DEATH ON THE YAMPA and THE DAWGSTAR are now $2.99.

P.S.  The Haunted Bookshop has signed paperback copies of my books in stock. TO ORDER my author-graphed books or any book of your choice on-line, contact The Haunted Bookshop here: https://www.thehauntedbookshopmobile.com/contact-us  

P.P.S. Pre-signed copies of THE BIG FANG are not available at The Haunted Bookshop

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A day to celebrate

cj Sez:  Happy 246 th birthday to the U.S.A.!

God Bless the U.S.A.

 Lee Greenwood 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

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Tidbits for Readers and Writers

  So, how much do you know about July 4, our Independence Day?

  Did you know that the Declaration of Independence, which July 4 celebrates, was officially and unanimously adopted by the Continental Congress on July 2, 1776?

  Did you know that John Adams lobbied for July 2 as the day to celebrate?

  Did you know that we celebrate with fireworks because of John Adams? He is quoted as saying: “It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade with shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires, and Illuminations from one End of this continent to the other from this Time forward.”

  

  Did you know that it wasn’t until 1870 that July 4 became a national holiday?

  Did you know that unheralded August 2, 1776, is the official date that 56 members of the Second Continental Congress started signing the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia?

... Well, if you didn't know all of that, now you do.

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  In last week’s post lauding THE BIG FANG charity anthology (filled with 22 short and endearing stories, one of which is my “Firebug”), I promised to do a post on the steps I follow when I write a short story. This is from my archives and still works for me today:   

  The first thing I do is put a copy of Anne Lamott’s ABCDE structure of a short story within eyesight. 

Action—Start with something happening to draw the reader into the story. 

Background—Provide context for readers to understand how the characters came to the current situation

Conflict—The characters must want something they don’t have and work to achieve it (sometimes against each other)

Development—The 70-80 percent of the story describing the characters’ struggles to get what they want. Each time it appears they have the goal within reach, give them something more difficult to overcome until they reach the climax  

(cj Sez: That’s the part where you get them up a tree and throw rocks at them.)

Ending—What happens after they reach their goal. In a romance, the hero and heroine realize their “happily-ever-after”. In a mystery or thriller, all the loose ends are tied up. In a literary story, the ending may be rather ambiguous.

***

  I merge Ms. Lamott’s guidelines with writing tidbits I’ve cobbled together from how-to workshops and essays. This is what I’ve learned, a lot of which applies to novels as well:

  Short stories are about one thing, so start the story as close to the central action as possible—I find that to be close to the end.

  Write to let the setting help reveal the character and advance the plot. This is where a deep point of view can reveal internal character through reactions to richly detailed settings.

 

  In a short story, every line should (more probably must) serve more than one purpose.

 

  Every character needs to want something, even if it’s only to be left alone so s/he can take a nap.

  Make the reader care about your main character. Snappy dialogue, beautiful settings, or surprising plot twists won’t keep your readers turning the pages if your main character is boring or unlikable. They need someone to root for. 

  That being said, all great characters have flaws—something that readers recognize or sympathize with. You don’t have space in a short story for paragraph-long character descriptions. This is where less is more, necessarily. One significant detail can tweak the imagination, and a complete character is formed in the reader’s mind. This is the character that can lead the reader to an unexpected twist ending, perhaps best exemplified by the master of twisted endings, William Sydney Porter (O. Henry).

 A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience. ~ Strictly Business by O. Henry

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Coming Attractions

  Mark your calendars.  ​National best-selling and Agatha-nominated mystery author Kaye George is scheduled to be
Lyrical Pens’ guest on July 20.  

  Her latest book, DEATH IN THE NEW LAND (A People of the Wind Mystery Book 3), releases July 19 and is available for pre-order.

§§

  That’s it for today’s post. You-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same. (I hope you have a safe and wonderful holiday weekend…sending up prayers for your health and safety.)

 

cj

   

  Just in time for your summer reading pleasure . . . fast-paced, exciting thrillers with a smidgen of romance (ala Jane Bond). The ebooks of DEATH ON THE YAMPA and THE DAWGSTAR are now $2.99.

P.S.  The Haunted Bookshop has signed paperback copies of my books in stock. TO ORDER my author-graphed books or any book of your choice on-line, contact The Haunted Bookshop here: https://www.thehauntedbookshopmobile.com/contact-us  

P.P.S. Pre-signed copies of THE BIG FANG are not available at The Haunted Bookshop

➜ Follow me on . . .           

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➜ Goodreads: https://bit.ly/3fcN3h6